Insurance Form Jokes

These are REAL statements made by REAL people on insurance forms. They are better than any jokes. The following quotes were taken from these insurance forms and were eventually published in the Toronto Sun. July 26, 1977.

1. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of it's intentions.

3. I thought my window was down. but found out it was up when I put my hand through it.

4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

5. A truck backed into my windshield into my wife's face.

6. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

7. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

8. I pulled from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

9. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

10. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached the intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.

11. I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had a accident.

12. I was on my way to the doctors office with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave.

13. As I approached the intersection a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

14. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

15. An invisible car came out nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

16. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a skull fracture.

17. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over.

18. The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

19. I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

20. The telephone pole was approaching fast, I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.

21. I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the vehicle. The driver and the passenger then left immediately for vacation with injuries.

22. I saw the slow moving, sad faced, old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of my car.