Joke of the Day

1. You have ever used an album cover or old envelope for a dustpan.

2. You have ever put foil on your TV antennas to get better reception.

3. You have ever had to use pliers to turn your TV on.

4. You had to come in the house when the street lights came on.

5. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood.
      + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady.

6. If you can count more than five police cars in your neighborhood on a daily basis.

7. If you ever had to pick your own switch, belt, or shoe:
     Switch
     Belt
     Shoe

8. If you have ever been beaten with an extension cord.

9. If you have ever had to walk home from school.

10. If you have ever passed someone a note asking "Do you like me? " or Can I have a chance?", check _yes, _no or _maybe.

11. If you have ever used dishwashing liquid for bubble bath.

12. If you have ever mixed up some Kool-Aid and the found that you didn't have any sugar.
      (add 4 if you put the pitcher in the refrigerator until you got some sugar)

13. If you have ever played any of the following games:
     hide and go seek
     freeze tag
     captain or momma may I?
     or redlight..yellow light..green light Stop!

14. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man.
     +2 if he rang a bell
     +5 if he played R&B

15. If you remember any of the following candies:
     Cherry Clans
     Lemonheads
     Alexander the Grape
     Ring Pops
     Chico Sticks
     Baked Beans
     Candy Cigarettes
     Powder Packs (w/the white dipstick)
     Big League Chew
     Jolly Ranchers
     Jaw Breakers
     Candy Necklaces

16. If you refer to Now and Laters candies as "Nighladers".

17. If you've ever run from the police on foot.
     + 5 if you got away

18. If you remember underoos or the Wonder Woman bra and pantyset.
     + 4 if you owned some

19. If you've ever had reusable bacon grease in a container on your stove.

20. The batteries in you remote control are held in by a piece of tape.

21. If you've ever used any of the following for drinking glasses:
     Jelly Jars
     Mayonnaise Jars
     Mason Jars
     Peanut Butter Jars

22. You have ever covered your furniture in plastic.

23. The heels of your feet have ever looked like you had been kicking flour.(1point)

24. If you have ever worn any of the following fragrances:
     Brute
     Hai Karate
     Jean Nate
     Old Spice
     Chloe
     English Leather
     Stetson
     Charlie
     Faberge'

25. You have ever used tussy.(9 points)

26. You have never been to the dentist.
     +10 if you've never been to the doctor

27. You have ever wore clothes with the tag still on them.

28. If you're acquainted with someone with a name as follows : kay-kay, lee-lee, ree-ree, ray-ray, etc.

29. You have ever paged yourself for any reason.

30. You have ever worn house shoes outside of the house.

31. You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense (for example, Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc.)

32. You pronounce words like this (1 point for each example you can think of): skrimps or strimps, skreet, axe (ask), member (remember), frigerator, etc.

33. You use nem' to describe a certain group of people (for example Craig and nem' or momma and nem')

34. You have ever had a crack across your windshield and never bothered to get it fixed.

35. You have ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat.

36. You have ever asked a perfect stranger to take a picture with you and told your friends it was someone you dated.

37. Your child drops his/her pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking it.

38. If you've ever ran a race barefoot in the middle of the street at approximately 11 at night.(10 points)

39. You have ever left a social gathering with a plate.(1 point)

40. You leave a restaurant with silverware, sugar, and/or jelly.

41. You think "red" is a flavor of Kool-Aid.

42. You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails.

43. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words.

44. You don't have your own place but your child has a leather coat and a pair of Jordan's. (5 points)

45. If you have ever had to get to the driver's side of the car through the passenger side door.(8 points)

46. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair.

47. You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?"

48. You won't answer the phone if you don't recognize the number on the caller id box.

49. You know a child who can't speak, but can do the "bank-head bounce."

50. You think Tupac is still alive. (Okay, this is the most ghettoest thing)

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