Dear Diary: Indiana
Aug. 12 Moved to Indiana. It is so beautiful here. The rolling green hills are so nice. Can hardly wait to see snow covering them.
Oct. 14 Indiana is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride hrough the beautiful hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.
Nov. 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill Such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will start to snow soon. I love it here.
Dec. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), and when the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Indiana.
Dec. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.
Dec. 19 More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Fricking snowplow.
Dec. 22 More of that white crap fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the curve and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Butthole!
Dec. 25 Merry Fricking Christmas. More friggen snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-b**ch who drives the snowplow I swear I'll Kill the bastard.Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the damn ice.
Dec. 27 More White crap last night. Been inside for three days except for shoveling out the driveway after that snowplow goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, car's stuck in a mountain of white crap. The weatherman says to expect another 10" of the crap again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10" is?
Dec. 28 The fricking weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of that white crap this time. At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snowplow got stuck up in the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already shoveling all the crap he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his damn head.
Jan. 4 Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a damned deer ran in front of my car and I hit it. Did about $3000 damage to the car. Those damn beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.
May. 3 Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting out from the fricking salt they put all over the roads?
May 10 Moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that God-forsaken state of Indiana.