Drunken Thoughts

Two drunks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer. All of a sudden the driver spots lights flashing in his mirror. The cops are on his tail.

The passenger says, "What are we going to do?"

The driver says, "Don't worry. Just do exactly what I tell you and everything will work out perfectly. First, peel the labels off our bottles and we'll each stick one on our foreheads. Then shove the bottles under the seat and let me do the talking."

They pull over and the cop walks up to the car. He looks at them kind of funny, but asks the driver for his license. He asks him, "have you been drinking?"

"Oh, no, sir!" replies the driver.

"I watched you weave back and forth across the highway. Are you *sure* you haven't been drinking?"

"Oh, no, sir. We haven't had a thing to drink all night."

"Well, I'll have to ask you, then, what on earth are those things on your foreheads?"

"Oh, those! You see we're both alchoholics and we're on the patch!"