What Not 2 Name Your Dog

Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Boy. I called mine SEX. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I wanted a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too!" Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had sex since I was 9 years old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took Sex with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my OWN tickets. "But you don't understand" I said. "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for the custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 2 o'clock in the morning?" I said, "Looking for Sex."