Three Bold Mice
Three mice are sitting at a bar late at night in a pretty rough neighborhood trying to impress each other about how tough they are.
The first mouse downs a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."
The second mouse orders up two shots of bourbon, downs them both, slams each glass into the bar, turns to the first mouse, and replies, "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
The first and second mice turn to the third mouse. He lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and screw the cat.