Top 10 Signs Your Accountant is Nuts

10. In several places on your tax forms, he's written, "Give or take a million dollars"

9. Tells you to put all your money into British cattle futures

8. You notice that his "calculator" is just a broken VCR remote

7. Insists that there's no such number as four

6. He laughed at the Bob Dole background check (I'm sorry -- that's a sign he's hypnotized)

5. Counts family of squirrels living in your yard as dependents

4. Advises you to save postage by filing your taxes telepathically

3. Instead of C.P.A. license, he's got a framed photo of a shirtless Alex Trebek

2. Demands that you call him the "Una-Countant"

1. He's got a 1040 Form tattooed on his ass