Charge Codes

Time Sheets To all staff: It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time". In this company unproductive time isn't a problem. What is a problem,however, is not knowing exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time. Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.

Thank you.

The Management

Attached: Extended Job Code List

     Code number   Explanation
     ----------    -----------
     5316          Meeting
     5317          Obstructing Communications at Meeting
     5318          Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
     5319          Waiting for Break
     5320          Waiting for Lunch
     5321          Waiting for End of Day
     5322          Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Co-worker
     5323          Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Co-worker While
                   Co-worker is not present
     5393          Covering for Incompetence of Co-worker Friend
     5395          Feeling co-dependent
     5400          Trying to Explain Concept to Co-worker Who is not
                   interested in Learning
     5401          Trying to Explain Concept to Co-worker Who is Stupid
     5402          Trying to Explain Concept to Co-worker Who Hates You
     5430          Reading "Dilbert"
     5435          Empathising with Dilbert
     5481          Buying Snack
     5482          Eating Snack
     5483          Deciding whether it's worth getting up to get more coffee
     5484          Getting more coffee
     5485          Drinking coffee
     5486          Running to the loo
     5500          Filling Out Timesheet
     5501          Inventing Timesheet Entries
     5502          Waiting for Something to Happen
     5503          Scratching Yourself
     5504          Sleeping
     5510          Feeling Bored
     5511          Feeling Horny
     5600          Bitching About Lousy Job
     5601          Bitching About Low Pay
     5602          Bitching About Long Hours
     5603          Bitching About Co-worker (see codes #5322, #5323)
     5604          Bitching About Boss
     5605          Bitching About Personal Problems
     5640          Miscellaneous Unproductive Bitching
     5701          Not Actually Present At Job
     5702          Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu
     6102          Ordering Out
     6103          Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
     6104          Taking it Easy While Digesting Food
     6200          Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
     6201          Stealing Company Goods
     6202          Making Excuses after Accidentally Destroying Company
                   Goods
     6203          Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
     6204          Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
                   in Order to Sell Stolen Company Goods
     6206          Gossip
     6207          Planning a Social Event (e.g., vacation, wedding...)
     6210          Feeling Sorry For Yourself
     6221          Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
     6222          Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
     6223          Pretending You Like Co-worker
     6224          Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They
                   are Jerks
     6238          Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
     6350          Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
     6601          Running your own Business on Company Time (see code
                   #6603)
     6602          Complaining
     6603          Writing a Book on Company Time
     6611          Staring Into Space
     6612          Staring At Computer Screen
     6615          Transcendental Meditation
     7281          Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
                   (Lemke!!!)
     7400          Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
     7401          Talking With Plumber on Phone
     7402          Talking With Dentist on Phone
     7403          Talking With Doctor on Phone
     7404          Talking With Masseuse on Phone
     7405          Talking With House Painter on Phone
     7406          Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
     7419          Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
     7425          Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone
     7931          Asking Co-worker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
     8000          Recreational Drug Use
     9999          Reading/forwarding personal e-mail