This old timer is setting on the porch of a saloon. A cowboy comes riding up and hitches his horse to the post, walks behind the horse and kisses its ass. The old timer looks in amazement and says, "Hey Cowboy why the hell did ya' kiss your horse's ass?"
Cowboy: "Well, I have chapped lips"
Old Timer: "So are ya' sayin' that will cure chap lips?"
Cowboy: "Nope ... but it sure keeps me from lickin' em!"