After years of his wife's pleading, this rich good ole boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the preacher's sermon that on the way out he stopped to shake his hand.
He said, "Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!"
The Preacher replied, "Oh!! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house."
The man said, "I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself, it was such a damn good sermon!"
The Reverend said, "Sir, PLEASE, I cannot have you behaving this way in Church!"
The man said, "Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so damn good, I put $5000 in that there collection plate."
The Reverend looks stunned, and says, "NO SH**?"